A friend told me that my tweets are a bit puerile but I can assure you they will not sanitize…

I don't know how to break the news to my best friend that he's imaginary. # I think the word…

Are you suspicious because you've never seen Dog the Bounty Hunter and me in the same room at the same…

Roasting of turkey going great until Gilbert Gottfried joked the carrots looked like tiny Oompa Loompas. Wonder if he'll be…

Make love, not war, unless you're planning on naming your first child "War," in which case you may do both…