I just found out only I can stop forest fires. That's a lot of pressure and besides I'm kind of…

The beauty of a sharp stick is in the eye of the beholder. # Powered by Twitter Tools

I still don't know how to clean my iPad screen, but I recently learned it doesn't involve a dishwasher. #…

We just bear-proofed our house. Now they'll never get out. # I don't care what PETA says, natural fur is…

When that lady at the rest home asked me, "how do you play backgammon?" I said, "for money." Hand over…

Here's some terrible advice: if you want mashed potatoes in a hurry, boil a can of Pringles. # That is…

Just checking… anyone else still here after the rapture on Saturday or is it just me? # @bellanovela Ay yi…